there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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