haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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