You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
