he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
