No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize