i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im holly from the hills drunk
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
