i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
