I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
