just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize