her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
