When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
