At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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