i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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