At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
