Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize