Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
