just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
