i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
