So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
