Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
