Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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