david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Your cock deserves a montage
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
