phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There r osticjed everywhere
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
