Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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