I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the day after is always just damage control
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
