So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
