She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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