I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
