at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
