Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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