Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
handjob tips. give me some.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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