I just made out with a guy for $7.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
