i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
