Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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