Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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