We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
