I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
