Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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