How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
