Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
