I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
