No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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