his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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