he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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