So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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