Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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