OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
