Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
