just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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