nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
