We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
