Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
