At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
