Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
