I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
