How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
