maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
