Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
