We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
