There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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