To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
