She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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