good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
