You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
