He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
