i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize